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  • Writer's pictureTodd Roache

A safe space: why (and how) I won't judge you...

There's a lot I could say on this, but for now, I feel to copy in this comment I just left for someone looking for writings on Paradox:

"Owning Your Own Shadow by Robert A. Johnson - pages 74-94 are all about Paradox.

On a personal note, the paradox concept saved my life when I began my mission of self-knowing and quest to uncover all the shadows and darkness within me - yikes - there was/is A LOT. It was extremely challenging but ultimately 'lucky' for me, because my consciousness had to expand to be able to hold non-judgmental paradoxical space for my own inner world.

I evolved (by necessity) into a space holder able to hover in paradox and accept seemingly completely opposing 'truths' inside myself, allowing my inner ‘angels’ to live alongside my inner 'devils', and for me to love/accept all equally and not make any part ‘wrong’, whilst still choosing conscious external action that aligns with my integrity, values, and the law.

I can’t cut parts out of me, so I choose to love all that is within, or live in eternal discomfort in my own skin. For me, unconditional positive self-regard - and from that unconditional positive regard - comes when you can truly hold dissonant paradox within yourself, and then by extension - outside of yourself - e.g between your values/actions/view of the world and someone else’s … without judging (which for me feels like a move away from paradox and a picking of sides).

Paradox – as part of shadow work - has been my greatest (spiritual) teacher. As Carl Jung said, "One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

This may not true or feel right for all, but it is my own individual 'truth' and experience - so far."

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